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There's always to sides to a coin
Monday, September 13, 2010
There's always two sides to life isn't it? There's the up and then there is the down. It always depends on which side we want to see. I have to be honest, I have been dwelling on the downside for such a long time that I didn't even put the possiblity of happiness in the picture. Not that I can say that I am very happy or pleased with life right now. But I guess, I might have learnt to face the facts of it. At times I do feel really broken and feel like there is no one to turn to. But then again, I know that I will really drive myself up the wall if I do that. It's really quite lonely being the only child in the family. You don't really have anyone to talk to about school stuff or anything. Though I have my mom and my godsis who acts like a total kid, it just doesn't feel the same I guess. Maybe it's because they are adults and they form their own opinions about the things that I tell them. I don't blame them for anything but rather, I feel really grateful for alot of things that they have done for me. But it really just isn't the same as having siblings I guess. I come back in the afternoons most of the time back to an empty house. If it isn't for belle(my dog) I really have no idea how I will feel about coming back to an really empty house and being by myself all the way until 7 plus at night waiting for someone to come back. Oh gosh, I do sound pathetic don't I? I guess it's because I'm afraid of loneliness that I hate being taken out of my comfort zone for anything. Because, I'll be like a fish out of water feeling absolutely vunerable. But, I have grown! I am slowly able to manage these changes. Even though it's tough.... REALLY tough at times but, I'm willing to try. Even though right now, it may be really painful at times and the loneliness seeps back in.......